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Love: A Social Matter
First, to be honest, I am not a type of writer who loves to write such this topic. As you can see from the rest of my blog, most of (almost all instead) my writings is about social, politic and sort of that. But as a mere human, I cannot ignore the "love" phenomena around me. I mean, love isn't a simply thing that happen to one person for another, but it also a social phenomena. Why? Because in small community, let we say a family consist of father, mother, son and daughter, we cannot deny that there's love among them. Mom loves dad and her kids. Dad loves his wife and kids. Kids love both mom and dad. Without that "love" feeling, a family won't be a place where we can find peacefulness. A family without love won't be a place where human can share their sacred shared value with sincere.
I know that some theorist, especially Freudian theorist are saying that there's no such love in human brain. It just a basic instinct to mating and reproducing. I have no idea about that since I am not a psychology student. But from what I believe and the result in society as I see by my own eyes and I heard by my own ear, love is lying there between people, among the greater society. Without love, there is no one want to be a good leader since all of them are only looking for power. Without love we might never found a free rehabilitation center since no one care each other. I admit that it's barely difficult to see the importance of "love" in community for me because I never studied from this view. But I do believe that love is there, at the hidden place, waiting to be found by scientific theories.
I imagine if I were raised in loveless environmental, everything just based on purpose interest. There is no any kind of volunteering movement. There is no people that helping each other sincerely, everything must be based on something in return. There is no love between leader and citizen: causing a bad leadership and unloyalty citizen, the chaos is everywhere.
Love: A Matter of Personal Taste
Love, in context of a lover, is a matter of very personal taste. We might have our own standard characteristic of person who qualified to be our lover. For some people, they prefer a tall, white-skinned person. But for some other prefer a tanned skin with average height. Some others loves people with black straight hair, but another just loving a blonde curly short hair. No global standard for the perfect criteria since everyone has their own unique standard. The standard itself isn't only in the context of physical attraction but also personality, behavior, or deed.
For example. Some people who I know prefer a mate who has similarity with them, for instance: Mr. A loves playing piano very much. He is addicted to piano since he was a child. He also loves a woman with long straight blonde hair, white average skin and loving piano as much as him. Then when he grows older, he starts to look for a woman to be her lover. Someday, he meet a woman, a social scientist. They're dating and begin to like each other. But at the same time Mr. A start to know that this woman is so different from him. This woman doesn't like art, she doesn't know anything about piano and music at all. This woman loves to talk about social phenomenon than talking about piano. Afraid that their relationship might not getting along, Mr. A decided to stay away from this woman by ignoring his own feeling, and they're finally completely separated each other. Mr. A believes that a couple should only happen if both people have same interest.
At the other side, Mr. X is mathematician genius. He loves math very much. He's also a young math professor, teaching as lecturer at certain famous university. When he has free-time, he always discussing about mathematical stuffs with his partners. Someday, he meet a woman and they're dating. Mr. X in no time finally find out that this woman is an artist who doesn't know math at all, however he's already start to like this woman. So, ignoring this differences, he's willing to start learning about art from this woman. He's also trying to like art, although maybe not as much as this woman. He believes that differences in interest doesn't mean that they cannot be a lover.
Personally, I have experiences about those conditions. I met a woman who has very different personality and interest from me but we can be a couple for a year. Although she dumped me, but in fact we're still a good friend until now. She told me that difference is beautiful: we can learn a lot from our partner, learning a lot of new stuff, expanding our insight and learn to understanding the differences between humans. She also told me that differences between a lover can be bless since it means we have a high level of tolerance and understanding each other. But I also have an experience that telling me that differences between couple is unacceptable. I met a woman who also has different personality. But in no time, she decided that I am not suitable enough for her, then she gone away until now without any form of communication.
Love: A Cause
Undoubtedly, love is a transcendent cause. We often to do something because the reason of "love", no other excuses. We bought an expensive car because simply we love her. We're ready to sacrifice even our life for the one who we love at most. We often commencing act, which is including the unlogic one, for the name of love. That all is because the simple feeling called as "love".
Why? The reason is still unknown. But from the latest research, love can causing someone to lose its logical ability. Yes, Robin Dunbar, a professor at Oxford University said that when people are in love, certain part of human brain which are controlling logical ability are disturbed (The Times). So that's why when we're in love we're getting numb in logical & critical ability.
I don't have to explain this one, isn't? I bet everyone know this condition of the adagium: "Love is Blind" :)
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